A few quick notes – if you read my site via an rss reader could I ask that you please subscribe to this feed. The others will remain working for some time, but I would eventually like to kill them and consolidate everything into one feed that I can keep an eye on. Also, if you're just subscribing and it's not using a feedburner link, please use the link from before also. Thanks.

You might also have read my last entry, entitled Dear Baby. I've been sitting on this idea of writing letters to my not even conceived child for some time. I couldn't decide if it was too twee or even a bit creepy – but I'm doing it and I hope you'll read along. The entries will show up on the front page & in the rss feed but there's also a separate blog if you have no interest in reading my day to day but the baby thing interests you.

Thanks for reading, I appreciate that you do.

– Better Cheddars

– The color navy

– The Camera+ app for my ipod touch (get it here)

– Popcorn Indiana white cheddar popcorn

– Stripes

– John Steinbecks' Of Mice And Men (read today and mind = blown!)

Dear Baby,

I had this brilliant idea that it would be great to start writing you letters even though you don't yet exist. I am optimistic and hopeful that you sooner than later, you will. I think Baby, that this is the year that your Papa and I will embark on the journey to become parents. We've been married for more than 8 years and people ask us often why we haven't made you yet and when will we. I don't really get upset by these questions because I know everyone means well and the honest answer to that question is just that I don't know.

I always tell people that I thought at this point in my life, I'd have a gaggle of babies. You should know that your Mama loves babies, she is an indiscriminate baby-lover, but I promise that once you come along – I will love you the most, Baby – because you will be mine. I can't wait to meet you!

Love,

Your Mama-to-be

Taking a quick glance at my outfits from last week, if I had to choose a theme it would definitely be color blocking. I love mixing colors and looking like a package of Starburst fruit chews – so much fun! I liked everything I wore last week but my favorite, after having declared that I hate myself in dresses, is 05/17 where I'm wearing a dress over leggings with a cotton motorcycle jacket that I scored on the Target clearance rack for $10.

In hindsight, I would have worn a belt on 5/18 to pull it all together but I liked the green with the turquoise in the tank top a lot.

Tonight, I'm going to clean up that bookshelf so that you don't have to look at my loose ends and where apparently everything in the whole world goes to die in my apartment.

Get the flash player here: http://www.adobe.com/flashplayer

I was thinking today about best friends. Specifically, why do we feel the need to label someone our "best" friend – why is friend simply not good enough? I have friends that I spend more time with than others, mostly out of proximity. I don't value any of my friend's time over another – I love them all and I'm happy to spend time with each of them – individually or as a collective.

This last year has taught me that sometimes, being someone's best friend isn't always what it's cracked up to be.

Last year, on a drunken night (not excusing my actions) with poor judgment in hand – I did something that caused my then best friend and I to end our relationship. I feel sad and embarrassed about my role in it – but in picking it apart, I realized had I not been the "best" friend – what happened would have never happened.

This year, another of my "best" friends decided that there was no more room in her life for me. Looking back – I feel like if I hadn't been her "best" friend – maybe what she deemed to be an unforgivable act (not attending her wedding – which I DID want to be at for the record) wouldn't have been such a big deal and we'd probably still be friends.

I'm not writing any of this to absolve myself in any way. I had a major role in both of these relationships faltering – but I certainly was not alone.

Being someone's primary confidant, leaning post – it is hard work. Not that it's not rewarding but I feel that in friendship – we don't give ourselves the same amount of growing room that we do in romantic relationships.

Not every friend is meant to be a forever friend – and that's ok. Not every person is meant to be a best friend either.