I know that buying a house is a big deal…HUGE, really. Where do we live? How can we get the most house for our money? Do we really need this many bedrooms? Do we absolutely need to have a basement? How long can we (The Ethiopian) commute?

All of these questions lead to conversations which sometimes spill over into heated arguments about sacrifice and ultimately, what this home can and will be for us. I’m not sure if I’ve said this (and I’m too lazy to go back and look) but the plan is that this is not our forever home but we’re looking for it as if it were going to be because you just never know. Having to see house after house and asking yourself every time – can I see myself here? Could we be happy here? I do not understand people who say that they enjoy this process, I am not one of you. I have never been so tired of looking at Redfin/Realtor/Trulia/Zillow and Google Maps and MLS Listings and, and, and.

Of course, I’m using pinterest to tuck away little bits of inspiration in hopes that sooner, rather than later, I’ll get to use them. It has never been my dream to own a home – is that weird? Probably so. I know that it’s a fundamentally sound investment and all of the other technical stuff but from a strictly emotional standpoint? Never really seemed high up on the to-do list, but here we are.

Tomorrow our house count will push up over 20, there are few that are promising and one that I LOVE so I’m hoping when I wake up, no one has already put an offer on it (this happens SO OFTEN in this area!). If you’re a praying person, send me up one and if that’s not your thing, I’ll take a good thought or some positive energy!

It’s been such a long week. One of those weeks where every time you tune into any form of media, we have been bombarded with terrible news. I wonder if I will remember this week in ten year’s time. If I’ll look back at these words and remember exactly how I feel now; sad, frustrated, angry.

I always say that you have to choose happiness, and I still think that rings true but it can be so difficult to do that when everything in your periphery is tragedy. Wherever you are, I hope that you take a moment to appreciate how lucky we are to be here another day. I also hope that you take the time to do something that brings you joy. It’s so important for every aspect of our mental and spiritual health.

I say it over and over but I really do miss and want to use this space to write but then..I don’t. Part of it is just being out of the habit and part of it is trying to temper what I do/don’t say. But here we are.

So what have I been doing? A lot and nothing. Photographing a little, definitely not as much as I want to be. That is 100% a post for another day.

We’re looking for a house. A HOUSE! It’s exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. On the 4th of July we had an offer accepted for about 3 hours. For 3 hours we were beside ourselves until our realtor (who is awesome and if you need one in the DC/MD/NoVa area – ask me!) called to let us know that the contractor’s entire basement renovation was not permitted which means we had to walk away. Thankfully, I had two parties to go to and so I was mostly distracted but the next day the disappointment settled in nicely. I’m largely over it now, and we keep on keeping on. Send me good vibes :D

My Mom is scheduled to have surgery to repair a hernia that is causing horrible reflux in a few weeks. I am nervous. She seems fairly calm about it though, so I’m going to try to project that for her.

Otherwise, lots of the same. Needing desperately to motivate and give my days more structure. Trying to stop repeating that and actually do it.