Randomly, someone liked an ancient photo I’d posted on flickr which made me think about someone from my past. I find that often when relationships sour, after I’ve gone through the various stages of grief and then rationalizing – that I’m pretty solid at moving on. But I do sometimes have moments when I think – what would it be like to be friends with that person again?

I don’t feel this about a lot of people – and for that, I am absolutely thankful because sometimes I think dredging those things up is just a really, really bad idea.

I wonder if there is a point of no return? A time in which so much time has lapsed in a relationship that it’s just unable to be recovered. And, moreover – is it ever a good idea, even if you feel that the relationship didn’t fail at your hands – to say, let’s just not do this thing anymore?

I don’t know – just thoughts tumbling around in my brain.

– sleeping with the windows open

– the way new clothes smell

– snapchats (and texts and skype) with Sarah

–  blush

– glittery lip gloss

Maybe it’s that summer is practically gone and the light is shorter and the days cooler but I’m feeling the need to just look around, take stock and re-focus. I feel like my life has just been slightly off-kilter since I got back from Ethiopia and I just need to nudge it back into place.

I want to make sure I spend some time meditating and maybe reading The Bible daily. I’ve never been what anyone would call religious but I believe in God and I like what prayer does for my spirit. I also just want to spend more time reading in general. I read a few books while I was on vacation and I kept the momentum going for a bit when I came back but lately I’ve been failing.

I also want to just try really hard to stay as organized as possible. If you saw the desk in my bedroom, you’d probably recoil in horror as I do every day when I look at it.

I’m also looking to try to focus on my finances. My husband is the saver and regrettably, his wife is the spender and oh, how I can spend. I’m such an in the moment person that I just know I’m going to blink, be 74 and still have to work and that is just not a reality I want for myself. So, if you see me in your local Sephora or Nordstrom – tell me to go home.

Finally, because it’s cool – I have no excuse at all for not getting my ass up and going out for a walk. Unless you count “I don’t want to” which is the excuse I’ve been using. This one will probably be the most difficult one because me and exercise are like Batman & The Joker – but I’m putting it out there.

Ultimately, I just want to make sure that I’m doing all of the things I know need to be done. Procrastination is kind of cute when you’re 15, but it’s ridiculous when you’re…you know, not 15 ;)