I’ve been going back and forth about whether or not to write about this at all because it’s not just about me. But before you skip around or get excited because the title of this post has the word baby in it – I am not pregnant. I’m leading with that because apparently when you’ve married for oh, 10 minutes – people start asking you when you’re going to be pregnant. I never get upset about it because I know it comes from a good place – people really, really want us to have a baby & please believe me when I tell you that we really, really want to have one too.

But (always a but!), life is never quite so simple. The Ethiopian has a medical condition that he’s had for years and years. I don’t want to go too far into the details but we’ve recently found out that said condition is going to make things a bit tricky in the making a baby department. There are -ologists to see and people to consult and we will do that in the coming weeks and months so we can see exactly what we’re up against.

Since we’re friends ;) I feel comfortable telling you that when we got our first set of test results back, I laid in bed and cried. Kind of a lot. It’s one thing to know in the dusty, attic part of your brain that it might be hard or that it might not happen but seeing the reality in black and white was, for me, terrifying.

I realize that there’s nothing that can be done until we’ve seen the people who know better than me or google, but in the meantime facing the fact that becoming the someone you always thought you’d be might not be a possibility? Again, terrifying.

We’re optimistic and our first -ologist seemed the same so I’m trying not to get too far ahead of myself. In the interim, if you’re someone who believes in prayer or just the power of positive thinking – I’ll take what you’ve got :)

– The new Bruno Mars album (Unorthodox Jukebox)
– Frank Ocean’s Pyramids from 4:40 on
– Remembering to buy thank you cards
– Crying from laughter
– Parenthood on NBC

Don’t you hate it when people don’t update their blogs and then come back and apologize for not doing so? I’m not going to do that. Since the last time I wrote something in this space I’ve been incredibly busy with life-type things & though I’ve logged in a few times to try to write some things, none of it quite panned out. So, here I am.

I know everyone says this but i really can’t believe this year is almost over. However, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad. I am all about the goodness and light in 2013 and I hope whatever is written in the books for me has the same plan in store. I’ve never been a huge Christmas-lover. I love getting together with family and friends, the eating, the happiness – but the rest of it feels very pomp and circumstance and it’s not really my thing. I am looking forward to seeing Les Miserables on Christmas day – maybe I’ll luck out and be the only person in the theater and I can sing along?

If you read me via RSS, you should click over and see that I gave the old domain a little facelift. Nothing ZOMGZAMAZING, but I like it.