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Tonight the 4th season of The L Word kicks off. The L Word, which was formerly a show I really liked forward to every week is now a jumbled mess of confusion. Somewhere along the way it seemed like it’s creators wanted to make it less about the core relationships and more about it being the lesbian version of Sex And The City.

So the clothes are fabulous, but who cares if the plots have big gaping holes and are, for lack of better words – stupid. I mean Jenny’s book and those weird flashback scenes at the circus/carnival, and then her falling in love with trans-gendered Max who subsequently let Alan Cummings give his fake penis a blow job?  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.  Oh, and then killing off Dana and breaking up Bette and Tina only for Tina to find that maybe she’s not really a lesbian anymore?  Lame.

All I want is the show to get back to some sense of goodness and I have a sneaking suspicion that this is not going to be the season because ummm, Cybill Shepherd is not as hot as Sarah Shahi and forgive me if I’m really not all that into seeing old lesbians make out.

So, I’m hoping that the show can get it’s act together because really – it’s the only reason I have Showtime. The only upside to having Cybill Shepherd on the show is that my expectations bar is set really low. Really. Low.

image taken from the l word online

I was supposed to go see Dreamgirls, but I defaulted because I am still slightly itchy. That, and because curling up in my bed to watch old episodes of Family Feud on the game show network seemed slightly more appealling to me. Oh, and I made this apple crisp. The crust was delicious but the apples were slightly overcooked. Also, I think I’d cut back the granulated sugar to 1T. Still damn yummy.

To make matters worse to my raging allergic reaction, which I think now, is to blame on Diet Coke – I came to work today and I’m not even scheduled. ON A FRIDAY!

My pinkie is currently the same size as my thumb. I am allergic to something although what exactly that something is, I don’t know. I am itchy and miserable and it’s raining outside today. Hmph!

Last night i had a fairly detailed dream about someone who with much assuredness I can say I hate. I know, hate is a strong word. It takes more energy to hate someone than to not care – I know all of that but that doesn’t stop me from feeling the way I feel about this person.

Having said all of that, I am the kind of person who has come to strongly believe in the power of prayer. I believe in karma and postive/negative energy and universal law. I pray that God will allow me to arrive at a point where the disgust I feel can turn to just plain old apathy.

Where their name doesn’t make me cringe and their words don’t make my stomach quesy. I suppose in a perfect world I really wouldn’t care about the person, but the world ain’t perfect and neither am I. I feel good to be able to make at least a small conscious effort to want to remove the anger I feel about the person, I guess any progress is progress all the same.