It?s that time. A few things didn?t get photographed because I forgot (the flourless chocolate cake and raspberry sauce I made for my fischer-price first Seder) and a handful of other things I can?t remember at the moment. At any rate – here are some of my favorites from the month. You can see them all in a slideshow here (or view as a set).

Carrot Cake Dinner 04.14.08

Dinner 04.25.08 Dinner 04.28.08

At the end of the month I’m going to start going to therapy. I’m writing about this mostly because I need to quell the noise in my head about it. Here’s the thing – I think I’m too smart for therapy.

I am pretty much of the belief that anything my therapist asks me, I will have the right and appropriate answer to and she will laugh heartily and tell me that I am one of the “normal” people who doesn’t really need therapy. Except in the back of my mind, I keep thinking after 10 minutes she’s going to suggest that I start coming twice a week because my issues are vast and unwieldy.

I’m not without my own set of problems. Problems that are probably going to be best served by talking to someone who studies these kinds of things for a living and I suppose that part of me is kind of excited to see what will be said.

My husband doesn’t believe in therapy or medication for any mental issues. He believes in mind over matter and to a certain degree, so do I. I do however, recognize my limitations and I don’t fully expect him (or really anyone for that matter) to understand what I’m going through from an emotional and mental standpoint and contrary to an notions, being thinner is not going to solve all of my problems and I need to learn an effective way of coping that doesn’t involve ice cream or a mcgriddle. And that whole avoidance thing? Starting to wear slightly thin.

In the meantime, I have a lot of questions. Will she laugh at my jokes? Will she think I need to be medicated? Who gave Britney Spears those extensions? Are capri pants a yes or no? These are all things I’m interested in knowing.

No, not me. But it seems that the entire internet done gone and got itself knocked up or just gave birth. The stork must be super tired because he has been work overtime. Congratulations to you and Holy crap, you’re almost there! to you, by the way.

I think if you’d ask me ten years ago where I’d be today, a lot of things would be different. I thought for sure I’d be married with kids. Plural. Of course, ten years ago I was 18 and what the hell did I know then? I know now that I am happily married and okay that we don’t have kids yet. There are enough children in my life to focus my time, attention and money on without me feeling some gaping void. Also, not having kids means that I can still be selfish and pretend that it’s okay to eat out 4 times a week, or that it’s okay to keep buying books from because umm, it’s

On the flip-side, I’d be lying if I said there isn’t a part of me that can’t wait to see the little person my husband and I could create. A child would quite simply, rock our world and turn our universe on it’s side – and I look forward to that. It’s a way’s off yet before we even get to the let’s really try to do this stage as we have so many big things on the loom. There’s just something about babies though, that make you all warm and fuzzy inside. I suppose it’s their newness. Not tainted by the evils of this big, bad world. They hold so much promise and joy and just good – sometimes, I can’t even wrap my mind around the whole thing. 

“Maybe aging is the great humanizer. Maybe it’s what brings us closer together: the collective realization that we’re moving further and further away from our youthful dreams, and well, this? This is what life is. It’s waking up at 5:30 to go to a job you like just ‘ok,’ and it’s Lean Cuisines for lunch and stealing a few minutes here and there in your afternoon to email friends and check blogs and play Sudoku. And it’s paying for a chocolate brownie with three miles on the treadmill, and it’s new years resolutions to eat less and save more and learn to balance your checkbook. It’s looking up old boyfriends on Myspace and finding college roommates and posting pictures that make you look hotter than you feel most days of the week, and it’s looking in the mirror and seeing someone older than you remember before, and it’s so, so much ordinary.”



Tonight the 4th season of The L Word kicks off. The L Word, which was formerly a show I really liked forward to every week is now a jumbled mess of confusion. Somewhere along the way it seemed like it’s creators wanted to make it less about the core relationships and more about it being the lesbian version of Sex And The City.

So the clothes are fabulous, but who cares if the plots have big gaping holes and are, for lack of better words – stupid. I mean Jenny’s book and those weird flashback scenes at the circus/carnival, and then her falling in love with trans-gendered Max who subsequently let Alan Cummings give his fake penis a blow job?  I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.  Oh, and then killing off Dana and breaking up Bette and Tina only for Tina to find that maybe she’s not really a lesbian anymore?  Lame.

All I want is the show to get back to some sense of goodness and I have a sneaking suspicion that this is not going to be the season because ummm, Cybill Shepherd is not as hot as Sarah Shahi and forgive me if I’m really not all that into seeing old lesbians make out.

So, I’m hoping that the show can get it’s act together because really – it’s the only reason I have Showtime. The only upside to having Cybill Shepherd on the show is that my expectations bar is set really low. Really. Low.

image taken from the l word online