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a loved life Posts

Technicolor Life

there are days when i feel utterly blessed. blessed to have the friends and the life i do, alternately there are days when i want to hurl myself into oncoming traffic or poke my eye out with a spork � but the good days are so good that they pale into comparison to the bad. 

i love my friends because they


draw me pictures with love and amusement. 

i love my friends because they write songs about me

C arletta, C arlotta � a work in progress

Remember those days, back in July?

Remember the times we laughed �til we cried?

The whole world was ours under the bright sky

And you looked at me with those black magic eyes

We raucously sang of our distant homes

And oftentimes when I felt so alone

I only had to simply pass you on by

And look into the black magic eyes

Que tienes los ojos

Negros y mágicos

Que alegría que me traigas así

Y si tu no sientes

Contenta mi bella

and i love my friends because they�re who they are. uniquely special and priceless.

Fat? So!

my name is letta and i�m fat. it has taken me many years to be able to say that, and there are days where i�m unsure if i�d have the esteem to utter it aloud. but mostly, i�m okay with it.

i was watching an episode of what not to wear, one of those makeover shows that seem to be all the rage.  this particular episode�s participant was a beautiful girl. a dental hygienist by day and an anna nicole impersonator by night (pre trimspa baby! Anna).  after hearing �what a pretty face she had� and going on and on about how her clothes sucked, the style guru�s made her over. but through this process, the size 16 beauty was a ball of self-loathing. in a perpetual fight to lose weight and hating herself all the way. 

see here�s the thing: we live in a country wherein we�re made to feel bad about everything. the size of your nose, your dick, your ears and your ass. when is enough good enough?  i�m all for being healthy but judge me not on what you see physically, because i�m more than that.  fat does not equal hatred. being fat doesn�t mean no one�s gonna love you or that you�re miserable. it just ain�t true � i promise.  my affection for ben and jerry�s has nothing to do with who i am as a person.  not one single thing.

we live in a culture wherein we are obsessed with the idea of celebrity (myself included), but the constant media attention to appearance is maddening. and have you seen pictures of lindsay lohan lately? she�s practically fucking invisible.  think about it, who the fuck cuts out whole food groups from their diet? carbs are good for you…and they taste good too ;0)

but this isn�t about hatred of anybody�s body; skinny or fat. this is about self-acceptance. about loving the body that you have. about embracing your double chin or your skinny calves � about loving you.  there are so many things in the world worth obsessing over, and how we look should be low on the totem pole. i can’t help but believe that if people took the time to appreciate the beauty of other people in whatever form it comes in that things would be a little better. of course we’re all guilty of judgment occasionally no matter how hard we try – but you have to at least try. people are like skittles; taste the rainbow, enjoy it, marvel at it, smile at it. there’s more to life than looks.