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leftovers

I don’t look at my horoscope daily but when I do – it’s almost always Susan Miller. Today? I am listening. You win, Universe.

Randomly, someone liked an ancient photo I’d posted on flickr which made me think about someone from my past. I find that often when relationships sour, after I’ve gone through the various stages of grief and then rationalizing – that I’m pretty solid at moving on. But I do sometimes have moments when I think – what would it be like to be friends with that person again?

I don’t feel this about a lot of people – and for that, I am absolutely thankful because sometimes I think dredging those things up is just a really, really bad idea.

I wonder if there is a point of no return? A time in which so much time has lapsed in a relationship that it’s just unable to be recovered. And, moreover – is it ever a good idea, even if you feel that the relationship didn’t fail at your hands – to say, let’s just not do this thing anymore?

I don’t know – just thoughts tumbling around in my brain.

"Self-pity is the graffiti of the heart but not so easy to avoid. I don't want to wallow. But I begin to see that wallowing is a chronic malady easy to condemn and hard to cure."

-Excerpted from Anne Roiphe's memoir Epilogue