This week I really, really did not want to cook dinners. But I managed to eek out a couple. 

   This was actually a breakfast I made for The Ethiopian yesterday. Egg white omelet with a few pan-roasted tomatoes and some goat cheese. Next to a Trader Joe’s hash brown and some avocado.

 A spring mix salad with avocado, beers, goat cheese and candied walnuts. We are this with baked sweet potatoes which apparently are a new hot commodity in our household 
   This was basically a take on cabbage rolls but “unstuffed”. We ate a lot of cabbage this week. I’m not mad.

 Shout out to Trader Joe’s orange chicken and veggie fried rice.
 This was really good –  cabbage,potatoes, smoked turkey sausage and peppers. Yum.

I’m late with my weekly because life got a little harried last week – but I’m here! Can you even believe it’s already February?

I was pretty much terrible at remembering to take photos of dinner last week. I think I missed two dinners – a lemon pepper salmon, broccoli and wild rice situation and we quick dinner of salad and baked sweet potatoes.   

    
Baked pasta made with ground turkey.  

  
Hello, lover. Banana pudding.

    Chicken fajitas that we ate with refried black beans 

  Used the aforementioned lemon pepper salmon to top since alfredo pasta. Sooooo good.

    I didn’t make this! Impromptu date night with The Ethiopian at a pizza joint we love. 

One of the things I  really, really need to focus on is not going to the store daily. I used to shop every 7/10 days and now I go almost every day and it is a recipe for  disaster. Also need to really take a good, hard look at our food budget.  We have gotten markedly better with leftovers but I think we could trim the proverbial fat some more.

One of my (not) resolutions this year was to be more physical. We’re nearing the end of January and let’s just cut to the chase – it hasn’t happened…yet. I’m adding that yet because I have to get it together. It being my life.

Last night I suddenly remembered that The Ethiopian had had some blood work done a few weeks ago and that I never looked at the results so, since we were together I figured we’d look. Turns out he has borderline high cholesterol. We’d previously been made aware that his cholesterol was a little elevated but it seems to have gone up slightly. Enough that I’m starting to think about all of the lifestyle changes we need to make as a family in order for us to lower it. I do largely think his is hereditary because we’re not big beef eaters and we don’t eat meat every day but there are changes we can make as we try to get it down without the help of medication.

So with that and the fact that I haven’t even begun to commit to my (not) resolution – I’m having to step back and really look at the big picture. It’s like I just woke up and realized that I am knocking on 40’s door and things just don’t get easier as we get older. I’m not going to make any huge, sweeping changes because I find that those only serve as a pipeline to eventual failure but I’m thinking more and more about becoming a pescetarian or maybe even exploring vegetarianism again. Mostly, these are just embryonic ideas based on my own state of mind and fears about my husband but they’re certainly worth investigating further.

Man, being an adult is just – sometimes I just have to stop and laugh and wonder how my Mom did it all and didn’t drop us off at a fire station and meanwhile I’m in a two person household and trying not to go curl up in a corner and cry. I guess that’s when you fully become an adult, right? When you start to empathize with your parents? I’ve got a long road ahead.

This is where I sit down and tell you that I am struggling to stay motivated to do pretty much anything these days. I know that in this very moment some of it is hormones but some of it is the weather and a dollop of really trying to figure out how to be effective in working from home.

That last bit is really crucial. I’ve basically always worked since I was 16 and so the notion that I don’t have a traditional job to go to is kind of left me in a weird head space. I know that it takes some time to adjust but sometimes I feel rudderless and I have to reel myself in and tell my brain to shut up!

When I stop to think about all the time I have during the day and how much I’m currently not doing with it – I get angry with myself because I know that being able to chase this dream of mine is such a huge gift.

I’m writing this all down so that I can maybe get out of my own way a little. I’m acknowledging that not having a job in the traditional sense is not easy and that I need to focus on the things that are right in front of me if I’m going to be successful. Also, I need to really commit to the be physical part of my not resolutions.

So, for better or for worse – that’s where I’m at. I’m going to stay on top of this topic because I think it’s helpful to understand just what it’s like to make that transition and als for my own sanity.