If it’s possible to benefit from jet lag (verdict still out) – I’m enjoying my slow mornings. Since we’ve been back, I wake up between 5 and 6 a.m., I force myself to lay in bed, usually trying to hide the quiet glow of my phone from The Ethiopian. After he’s up and running, I’ve been getting up and making us breakfast. I like sending him off with something to get him through the morning & I love breakfast so we both win.

Today, I even dragged down the coffeemaker and (this is huge) I think I might be getting over my obsession with that giant coffee retailer that has the green straws. I don’t want to get to cocky, because I’ve had these feelings before, but I think I might be about to free myself from their clutches.

I miss Ethiopia, more specifically – I miss hanging out with my family, the living room fireplace and being wrapped up in my gabi because there’s always a chill in the air. I’ve yet to go completely through my photos – mostly because I’m lazy – but partially because going through them really means vacation is over, even though my heart knows it’s already a done deal. Here are a handful of iphone shots in the meantime.

I think about updating this little space of mine so often. I love words, I love this domain, I love sharing my little life but writing always gets pushed to the back burner for me. Yet, when I think about shuttering this space it makes me sad and so here we are.

We’ve been back from Ethiopia for about a week. The trip was a whirlwind. I know that probably seems overly dramatic since I was gone just shy of 3 weeks but really, we were there and then we weren’t.

Jet lag has been brutal. I’ve spent the bulk of the hours in the last week asleep or thinking about going to sleep (I just yawned – ha!) but in the hours that jet lag doesn’t have me in a vise grip – I’ve been pretty productive. I was unpacked within a day or two of being home, my apartment is 97% clean and I’ve gone back to work & I haven’t messed anything up yet so I’m calling it a success.

My family remains a gift. We ate, we laughed, we partied, we danced, we slept (a lot!) and it was all so absolutely blissful and I can’t wait to do it again.

It seems that some of the most valuable lessons we need to survive in this great world are often the hardest ones to actually learn. For me – they are the art of saying no, learning when to let go and making myself (and my happiness) a priority.

Somehow, I think I expected that one day I’d just wake up and I’d know these things. That with my age, would come this mythical wisdom and I would suddenly be in totally control. What a big, fat lie I’ve been living.

I need to tack them to a wall, scribble them on my forehead because somewhere along the way – I’ve veered off the path and I’m not doing a very good job at adulting. Yes, I just made the word adult a verb – it’s okay.

Maybe what I’m experiencing is growing pains? Do you get those at 35? :) I’m not in some weird spiral of self-loathing – I know better than that, but I can absolutely try to remind myself that the most important person in my life is me because at the end of the day – you’re all you got.

Sometimes I wish that this blog was completely anonymous so that I could share my secrets with you, because they’re good secrets as secrets go.

This particular secret is a complicated one. A bit sweet, a bit mischievous (insert eyebrow wiggle) & maybe a little funny depending on where you stand.

Alas, I’ve been told if you are to keep a secret and desire to have it stay so – you’re not allowed to tell a soul & so that is probably as much as I can say about that thing that happened on the 4th of July.

I hope that this post isn’t as horrible as one of those awful Facebook status updates that make you roll your eyes – although it’s certainly pretty damn close.

One day when I look back at all the things that I wrote on the internet I’m going to be like – what were you doing with all these gigantic holes of time that you weren’t writing about your so-called life?

I guess if I were going to try to answer that now I’d say I’ve just been…living. You know how you get busy doing absolutely nothing? That’s me.

I’m trying to even think what I’ve been doing since I last posted here but I’m starting to think the list is too big to enumerate but overall I’m good and I hope you are too.

We’ll be leaving soon for Ethiopia – and I could NOT be more excited. COULD. NOT. I’m planning on reading a lot, eating a lot and hopefully taking 8 bajillion photos. Yes, bajillion is a technical amount.

Beyond that, everything is pretty much the same. How have you been?