Level Best

Still social distancing, still not easy. J told me early on that her therapist said to shoot for a C grade, passing and that has absolutely stuck with me. Lately, I’ve taken to saying I’m at level which is probably my C equivalent.

It’s hard to try to just be because that not the way that any of us were taught to exist and so I keep reminding myself that by and large, there is nothing that needs to be done and everything will still be there when this is over.

Tuesday we watched the virtual funeral for Eteye Woudnesh an it was hard. Nobody likes funerals but I would avoid them at all costs if I could and yet, it felt odd to not be there for her because she was someone who I adored a great deal and who was very special to The Ethiopian. The ceremony was lovely and I’m glad our family across the world was able to see it as well and I’m glad she’s at peace. We’re going to miss her so much.

I miss work. I miss people. And I still know that this is absolutely for the best but it is hard. So hard. I’m trying to write because I do think it’s important to remember how we navigated these things. Plus, let’s be real – I’m not going to journal on paper.