Maybe Baby

I’ve been going back and forth about whether or not to write about this at all because it’s not just about me. But before you skip around or get excited because the title of this post has the word baby in it – I am not pregnant. I’m leading with that because apparently when you’ve married for oh, 10 minutes – people start asking you when you’re going to be pregnant. I never get upset about it because I know it comes from a good place – people really, really want us to have a baby & please believe me when I tell you that we really, really want to have one too.

But (always a but!), life is never quite so simple. The Ethiopian has a medical condition that he’s had for years and years. I don’t want to go too far into the details but we’ve recently found out that said condition is going to make things a bit tricky in the making a baby department. There are -ologists to see and people to consult and we will do that in the coming weeks and months so we can see exactly what we’re up against.

Since we’re friends ;) I feel comfortable telling you that when we got our first set of test results back, I laid in bed and cried. Kind of a lot. It’s one thing to know in the dusty, attic part of your brain that it might be hard or that it might not happen but seeing the reality in black and white was, for me, terrifying.

I realize that there’s nothing that can be done until we’ve seen the people who know better than me or google, but in the meantime facing the fact that becoming the someone you always thought you’d be might not be a possibility? Again, terrifying.

We’re optimistic and our first -ologist seemed the same so I’m trying not to get too far ahead of myself. In the interim, if you’re someone who believes in prayer or just the power of positive thinking – I’ll take what you’ve got :)