I was thinking today about best friends. Specifically, why do we feel the need to label someone our "best" friend – why is friend simply not good enough? I have friends that I spend more time with than others, mostly out of proximity. I don't value any of my friend's time over another – I love them all and I'm happy to spend time with each of them – individually or as a collective.
This last year has taught me that sometimes, being someone's best friend isn't always what it's cracked up to be.
Last year, on a drunken night (not excusing my actions) with poor judgment in hand – I did something that caused my then best friend and I to end our relationship. I feel sad and embarrassed about my role in it – but in picking it apart, I realized had I not been the "best" friend – what happened would have never happened.
This year, another of my "best" friends decided that there was no more room in her life for me. Looking back – I feel like if I hadn't been her "best" friend – maybe what she deemed to be an unforgivable act (not attending her wedding – which I DID want to be at for the record) wouldn't have been such a big deal and we'd probably still be friends.
I'm not writing any of this to absolve myself in any way. I had a major role in both of these relationships faltering – but I certainly was not alone.
Being someone's primary confidant, leaning post – it is hard work. Not that it's not rewarding but I feel that in friendship – we don't give ourselves the same amount of growing room that we do in romantic relationships.
Not every friend is meant to be a forever friend – and that's ok. Not every person is meant to be a best friend either.