Bend With Your Knees, Not With Your Back
So the last 36 hours of my life have been a wee bit insane. Actually, wee might be understating it. On Monday afternoon, I hurt my back doing God only knows what. A freak accident that is just an agitation of an older, underlying injury that happened a decade ago. Tuesday morning, I got up to potty (like a lady) and get a glass of juice. I felt a muscle spasm come over me and I remember bracing myself against a wall and then I woke up in the floor.
It sounds a lot more dramatic than it actually was, although I have never blacked out and being alone when it happened was also not amazing. After I picked myself up off the floor, I had this brief thought about how I had this notion that I was going to be all supergirl(wonder) and when we have a baby, give birth naturally. If i can't sustain consciousness during an intense muscle spasm, I have no hope y'all.
So, after I called my insurance – they advised me to call 911 who arrived WITH THE SIRENS ON. You should note that between calling 911 and them arriving I combed my hair, brushed my teeth and put on clean underwear (good thing since i showed my entire ass at multiple points during the day), a girl has got her priorities down pat. They evaluated me and made a recommendation that I go to the hospital to be evaluated since you know, most people don't black out during episodes of pain. I have to give major props to the EMT's who came out and helped me. They were super kind, funny, gentle and cute. YES!
Many hours and tests later, they decided I had a syncoptic episode and that some percocet would help me feel happy and hazy until I saw my regular doctor.
This thing is too long, right? Right. Long story short, I'm fine. You should NEVER bend with your back – it's bad for you. No, seriously bad for you and if you never take another thing I say seriously – BEND WITH YOUR KNEES, DAMNIT! In the meantime, I'm relaxing at home on my couch, napping and catching up on my epsiodes of Tori & Dean. Thank God my husband bought a laptop last week. My husband is waiting on my hand and foot when he's not at work and generally being amazing. I'm okay, thank you for those who expressed concern across the interwebs – I appreciate it more than you know.