How Karma Works

The other day as I was scurrying along to my pre-commute destination, Starbucks, I was stopped by someone passing out literature. Now – I have my defenses against people who stop me at metro stations soliciting money: I wear sunglasses to avoid catching eyes, I wear earbuds to feign not being able to hear and generally, this has been a pretty effective tactic in getting to be able to peacefully sip my macchiato.

The other day though, I was in a rush because I'd left my house late because I was doing something very important (reading facebook probably) and I really was kind of oblivious to the worlds goings on when I was stopped by a girl who wanted to talk to me about the Book of Mormon. I stopped, plucked my earbuds from one ear and let her know that I was in a hurry but that if she wanted to walk with me, I'd listen. Then, she proceeded to QUIZ me. Had I heard of Mormons? Yes. What did I know about Mormons? And for real, my brain started to spin. I mean – I am basing largely what I know about them on heresay and what I read on someone's blog – and most of it isn't good. On the tip of my tongue, I started to say – I think Mormons believe they came from an alien lifeform, but that just seemed so wrong and I didn't want to a. offend the girl or b. get lectured on the proper birthing of the Mormon religion. So I gave the most p.c. answer that I could. I don't know much, just that there are a lot of Mormons in Utah. She nodded affirmatively and inside I was like YES! Crisis averted.

As I'm nearing the door to the Starbucks my Mormon quiz continues – something about prophets on Earth and how could I benefit from having an on Earth profit in my presence. DEER IN HEADLIGHTS Y'ALL. I mean, I don't consider myself to be religious in any way and I was not prepared. I rambled off some answer about prophets being a good guide for everyday life and yadda, yadda. So at this point, we're at the threshold of the Starbucks and I ask her if she wants to continue to conversation inside, she declines my offer and hands me a flyer that tells me that I can go online to read more (mormon.com if you care) and then goes off.

So I rush to the counter to place my order and realize – I have no money. As in none. Checkcard left at home in the back pocket of a pair of jeans I'd worn. And as the barista said maybe we'll see you later in the day when you have money again (bastard!), I had to laugh to myself because I'd been so harried with the Mormon disciple. And that is how karma exacts itself and why I will stop and listen to all Mormons from now on.