Right For Me
So it?s been almost 18 months since I had weight-loss surgery and I?m still alive. I was reading this post about a post secret postcard and it immediately made me bristle. I don?t want to be the girl who?s always defending her decision to do something that I think ultimately was right for me. Right for me. May not be right for you, but was the right thing for me
Even though I?ve lost a lot of weight, I?m still fat and I probably always will be, at least my most guidelines and standards, overweight – and I?m okay with that. But, I hate this notion that I?ve mutilated myself – like I?m less of a person or less capable of supporting other fat people because I had surgery. I wasn?t looking for love nor friends when I had surgery – those were things that I?d already had. How other people perceived me has definitely changed and I?d be lying if I said it hadn?t – but that?s okay – that?s not really my problem.
What I?m trying to say (I think?) is that even though there are 185 pounds of me gone, I still get it. And even if I lose a crapton more, I still get it. I know what it?s like and I haven?t sold out. I made a choice. One you might not like, but it was mine to make and it would be nice to feel like it?s okay. Ultimately, I?m not seeking to be validated but I want people to know (particularly people within the fat acceptance communities) that having surgery was not something I took lightly and it?s changed my life like nothing else I?ve ever done, but I still am very aware of what it?s like to be fat. I?m still one of you.